In the softening light of dawn, I hold my breath so that I can feel his upon my face.

I have waited years for it to be safe enough for my disabled son to lie beside me.

As a baby, I couldn’t cradle him against my body, or his airway would collapse and he would stop breathing.

Such a small ritual we take so for granted as mothers.

For the first couple of years, he was strapped up to breathing monitors, reliant on their alarms to warn us when he had stopped breathing and needed resuscitating.

There was no question of him sleeping beside me.

I took this photo the first time that he was stable enough to curl up with me in bed.

I remember wanting time to stand still, to savour every magical moment of the warmth of his skin upon mine, his breath upon my face.

It’s in those moments when we become fully present and recognise the gift of the experience, that we discover the miracle of life and of love.

With my love and blessings

Annabel Du Boulay Signature

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